EvilTrigun
Silver Member
"The man who wants nothing is invincible"
Posts: 260
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Post by EvilTrigun on Jul 7, 2005 16:58:59 GMT -5
((Alright guys, here I go. This is my solo work that I mentioned in the General section, under the thread 'question on where to put this'. I recommend you go to that thread to read my teaser preview to know what's going on. My post may be a long time coming today, but it'll come. Also, feel free to comment constructively, just use (( )) around whatever you say. As I said before, this is a solo work, please do not join in like an RP or something. Time to get started...))
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EvilTrigun
Silver Member
"The man who wants nothing is invincible"
Posts: 260
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Post by EvilTrigun on Jul 7, 2005 17:07:35 GMT -5
((Ok, to help the lazier people around here, I have copied the preview and setting for my work here. Read on and enjoy, the first real post will come somtime today.))
Recall if you will the early life of Earth, where all the continents were combined into one super continent, called pangea. As we all know, eventually this landmass broke apart into the continents we know today, bringing great changes to the world. Now take that bit of history, and place it in an alternate dimension where swords and sorcery ruled the land, instead of dinosaurs. Therein lies the setting of my little work:
The land of Lundria is a beautiful continent, immense in size and population. The only continent known to man, Lundria is surrounded on all sides by what seems to be endless ocean. The people are ruled by a just, yet paranoid, emperor, who rules the whole of the continent by himself. It is a peaceful land, largely thanks to the countless soldiers who serve their ruler. But the tides of change are coming...
One by one, reports come into the capital of radical changes taking place throughout the continent. Incredible winds shear buildings in half. Mammoth waves swallow the coastline. Terrible earthquakes demolish towns. Bottomless chasms cut plains in two. Flash blizzards kill the crops and livestock of peasants in the middle of summer. It seems the Earth itself is dying.
Immediately, the emperor commands his staff of scholars and mages to find out what is happening and how to prevent it. The results are undisputable: the continent is breaking apart. This becomes an even more shocking blow as the singular ruler realizes that he will lose all of his power because of this disaster. After the separation of his land, he comes to realize that it would be near impossible to impose his rule over all.
Despite his best efforts, this information is leaked to the public, and chaos breaks out. Thieves rob and pilfer to their hearts delight. Until now unheard-of rebel groups begin attacking the reign of the emperor. The peasants revolt, blaming their once-loved ruler for the corruption of the continent. Priests become hysterical, anouncing the aproach of the apocalypse. All this as the emperor desperately tries to stop the fragmentation of his beloved continent, as well as the inevitable end to his rule.
((Well, there you have it. I hope you all will enjoy my story to come. Please note: there may be a small amount of cursing in here, although I haven't really decided yet.))
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EvilTrigun
Silver Member
"The man who wants nothing is invincible"
Posts: 260
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Post by EvilTrigun on Jul 7, 2005 23:12:54 GMT -5
((I must apologize in advance for the short length of this post and its tardiness. I had planned to type much more much faster, but something rather disturbing and depressing occurred as I was writing and completely killed my will to write for a long time. I hope this will do for now.))
Cries of pain and death filled the air as the town of Elegar burned to ashes. Homes were being pillaged, men killed, women raped. All these acts committed by people who had once lived here in peace, before the news arrived. The town's own people were turning against each other in madness.
It would appear that Revak was late.
From the edge of town he admired the destruction before him. Of average height and seemingly average build, this man of unknown years stood alone, wrapped in a jet black cloak that covered his whole body down to his ankles. In this position, it would appear he had no arms at all, but appearances can be deceiving. With deliberate care, he parted his cloak with his arms, revealing himself to be completely garbed in midnight black. In his... profession... The more black a person wore, the better. Revak brought his hands up and drew back his hood, which had previously been hiding his eyes and upper face. To the average onlooker he would appear completely normal: short black hair, small mouth, rather pale in complexion. It was his eyes, however, that set him apart, that made him different. His eyes consisted of only two colors, black and white. No color, no transition existed between his large black pupils and the barren whites of his eyes. His arms retreating once more into his cloak, Revak entered the town.
((I think I will post this just to get it out of the way, then post my next piece. You will find in the next post that I am trying to convey Revak's thoughts and state of mind in a different way than the conventional italics.))
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EvilTrigun
Silver Member
"The man who wants nothing is invincible"
Posts: 260
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Post by EvilTrigun on Jul 26, 2005 23:58:46 GMT -5
Revak calmly walked into the town, not even bothering to hide from passerby. These amatuers posed no threat to the man, and he did not want to waste time hiding from ants.
The crazed villagers didn't know or care about his skill, however, and it was not long before he was challenged.
Revak watched with minimal interest as a man wearig only a pair of tattered trousers charged, an axe in one hand and a torch in the other. Slightly amused, the black-clad stranger dodged a number of slow, awkward blows. Not wanting to waste any more time, Revak leapt into the air, landing behind his victim. With great speed he lifted a knife, also midnight black, out of his cloak while the other latched onto the madman's head, holding it in place. Revak smiled at the sound of tearing flesh as the man's throat was slit clear to the bone. Another villager, seeing te act of violence, ran over to stop the intruder. Revak ducked under a blow aimed at his head and cleanly cut along the man's exposed stomach. As the man struggled to hold his guts inside his body, the stranger in black continued onward towards his goal.
Finally, Revak entered the main square and found what he was searching for. The duke of this lost town was attempting to escape in his personal carriage with a large chest filled with his most valued belongings. A number of the Emperor's soldiers,the last semblance of order among the chaos, had formed a defensive wall around the duke, striking down anyone who got too close.
"Perfect."
Unable to contain himself any more, Revak leapt with glee into the middle of the group and began his bloody work. The screams of the soldiers filled the air as he slashed left and right with twin daggers. Finally aware of the enemy in their midst, the guards focused their attention on Revak.
"Fools!" he shouted, "Why do you fight the chaos that surrounds you?! The world is destined to be consumed in chaos, give up already!"
The soldiers quickly formed a tight circle around Revak, weapons poised to strike.
"Hopeless idiots..."
Revak ducked under a hastily thust spear and delivered a swift kick to the attacker's groin. As he dodged several similar blows his hands retreated into his cloak once more, this time bringing out a small metal rod. Revak savored his foes' surprise as with a loud clank the rod doubled in size, becoming a full quarterstaff. The blows of the guards became even easier to evade as the quarterstaff spun this way and that, deflecting all weapons. Abruptly Revak stopped whirling and thrust forwards and backwards with his weapon, crushing the faces of two more guards. Again and again his weapon slammed into the men, pulverizing bones and organs. As the last of his victims fell, Revak noticed the rather fat duke struggling to fit his chest inside the carriage. In an instant, Revak was on him.
"Why do you insist on maintaining order when you are destined to fail?" he whispered in the man's ear.
"G-g-guards! Sieze this man!"
"I'm afraid that your - correction, the emperor's- men are quite dead." Revak grinned malevolently.
The duke dropped his chest, crawling into the carriage in terror, "Oh p-p-please... please don't kill me!"
Revak entered the carriage as well, crouching next to the trembling duke, "Oh don't worry, you won't die...right away..."
Blood spatterd the windows of the duke's royal carriage as his screams of agony were lost in the sounds of the town's demise.
His bloody work finally finished, Revak stood atop the carriage with the duke's chest of valuables. He raised his arms towards the sky, taking in the glorious chaos that surrounded him. As the town burned around him, Revak let out a bestial roar.
((FINALLY I got a post in. For some reason, my laptop won't work right with spellcheck, so if you see any errors please point them out to me using (( )). I hope this post will be looked at favorably.))
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Post by Lobstrosity on Jul 27, 2005 9:28:19 GMT -5
((in the last sentence it says "he" when I think you meant "the"))
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EvilTrigun
Silver Member
"The man who wants nothing is invincible"
Posts: 260
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Post by EvilTrigun on Jul 27, 2005 14:09:10 GMT -5
((Thanks for that save))
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Post by Kagome on Aug 18, 2005 19:31:52 GMT -5
wow thats a long story!
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EvilTrigun
Silver Member
"The man who wants nothing is invincible"
Posts: 260
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Post by EvilTrigun on Aug 19, 2005 20:16:20 GMT -5
((hey now, just because I haven't posted in a while doesn't mean I'm done! Have faith, people!))
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Post by Kagome on Aug 20, 2005 15:36:06 GMT -5
((do we have to. . . ? j/k))
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Post by Umbrafire on Aug 28, 2005 0:58:24 GMT -5
i love it, I think it's great.
during my trip to alaska, it was kinda funny, we were on a tour of some kind, and i'm sitting on this train, and all of a sudden I think, "i should write a short novel, just for kicks"
i for some reason looked out the window, only to see a sign, bearing these words:
"INSPIRATION POINT"
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Post by Vash on Aug 28, 2005 19:41:53 GMT -5
i love it, I think it's great. during my trip to alaska, it was kinda funny, we were on a tour of some kind, and i'm sitting on this train, and all of a sudden I think, "i should write a short novel, just for kicks" i for some reason looked out the window, only to see a sign, bearing these words: "INSPIRATION POINT" LOL, that's awsome. It's a sign, you should wirte something.
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Post by Umbrafire on Aug 28, 2005 19:51:49 GMT -5
and I totally will, it'll be the greatest medieval-fantasy-type book ever
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Post by Kagome on Aug 29, 2005 17:45:29 GMT -5
lets get back to et-koi's story not yours jiub
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EvilTrigun
Silver Member
"The man who wants nothing is invincible"
Posts: 260
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Post by EvilTrigun on Sept 11, 2005 21:47:26 GMT -5
((man i'm such a bad RP'er/fan-fic writer.... always slacking off and disappearing for long stretches of time.....))
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Post by Umbrafire on Sept 12, 2005 20:21:45 GMT -5
((heh, believe me, they're worth it))
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